Recently Disney released a trailer for the live action Lion King remake, and it was met by me with a resounding, meh. So I got to thinking two very important thoughts about this. First, why is this the live action Lion King when all of it is animated with CGI? It should be photorealistic Lion King. Second, I thought it was a spin off to live action The Jungle Book because I honestly can’t tell either movie apart by how they look. I honestly half expect all of these movies to be apart of some giant expanded universe because, after really thinking about it, all of these movies have a similar look. Dark and hyper realistic looking.
Will it be good or terrible? I say yes.
As you can probably guess, I’m not too fond of these movies. And that’s not true. I actually really dislike these movies as a whole. It’s not like I try to hate these movies, they just don’t give me a lot of reasons to enjoy them. They all have a similar look or change the plot too much. Sure you have your good ones like Cinderella, but you have some terrible ones like…well let’s go through the big ones:
-Alice and Wonderland: the movie that started the live action remake trend and also the trend of these movies being terrible. It’s also a sequel, but not because it isn’t the actual sequel. Also, Alice is the chosen one and the movie ends in a Lord of the Rings type battle. It’s terrible.
-Cinderella: this one is actually really good. It expands upon some details that were missing from the original and improves on some of the weaker ones. Could have used more cat and mouse hijinks, but it’s a gorgeous movie to watch. The best of them.
-Maleficent: So this one was advertised as being like Wicked. And it is, except horrible. Mostly because it’s not a case of, she’s only bad from a certain point of view. It’s, she was good all along and Aurora’s dad was a jerk. I actually wanted my money back from a free ticket. It didn’t work.
-The Jungle Book: it’s okay. Nothing spectacular, but not a terrible movie. Nice to look at and Idris Elba is great as Shere Kahn.
-Beauty and the Beast: Why? Remake? Perfection? I could go one about Emma Watson’s singing violating the Geneva Convention. I could go on about how Gaston is actually a good guy in this. I could go on about how Beast is a prick. But I’m going to end it with telling you that you see Mrs. Potts have an orgasm.
Merchandise for this movie was also nightmare inducing.
-Christopher Robin: So I’m not going to lie, I didn’t see this one. But it looks like a high end remake of Hook, so maybe it’s good?
And there are MORE in the pipeline. In a few weeks we’ll get Mary Poppins Returns (maybe it won’t suck), Dumbo (I’m already for it to be terrible), Aladdin (if Will Smith doesn’t do a rap song for the credits where he says Aladdin a bunch of times, this movie will suck) and the aforementioned Lion King with Maleficent 2 (why?) looming ahead.
But these movies create a big problem for me outside of reasons of plot, they all look the same. With the originals, I can always tell them apart from the backgrounds, character models and the general color tones. Lion King: warmer colors. Jungle Book: muted. Sleeping Beauty: angular character models. Every live action remake: they all look the same. If a movie is going to be terrible, all I ask is that it at least looks interesting.
I know Hollywood has a trend of remakes and reboots and everything like that. All I ask is that it stays truer to the original or try something different. A movie like 21 Jump Street went completely different and was better for it. Jurassic World stayed in familiar territory and was great. It can be done, and Disney has already done it. I don’t want a movie where you make the mistress of evil good or Belle into a bland person who is shunned solely for reading instead of just being shrugged of like it’s no big deal. I want a better good movie to bad movie ratio. Come on Disney, DC is doing it. I have faith in you!