It has recently come out that Disney recently purchased 1,000 acres near Celebration, FL for the small amount of $23,000,000. With this purchase and everyone guessing what it will be, we’re gonna take the road less traveled and give our guesses for what it WILL NOT be.
1. 7 Exact Replicas of the Magic Kingdom
We can rule this out since, while a great way to alleviate the congestion that Magic Kingdom normally gets, you wouldn’t have a lot of room for 7 parking lots. We’ll mark this off as a no go.
2. The Line for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
As much as they’ll probably need it, you’d also need to buy some extra buses to get people from there to DHS. And Disney just spent $23 million, you think they’ve got more lying around?
3. An Expansion to Art of Animation to Include Every Other Disney Animated Movie
As cool as this would be, I don’t see this happening. I know if I got stuck in The Black Cauldron wing, I’d be furious. And who would want to stay in a room based on Home on the Range/who actually remembers Home on the Range? Also, see number 2 to the bus issue.
4. A New Theme Park Based Solely on Disney’s Recent Flop Movies
If there’s anything the world doesn’t need is a ride based on Mars Needs Moms or restaurant themed after John Carter. Construction materials best used somewhere else.
5. A New Fun Spot Park
It’s not even a Disney owned park. You think Fun Spot would just be given this land as some sort of elaborate tax write off by Disney to save money…holy crap that might actual be it.
6. The World’s Largest Denny’s
It already takes me a while to get my food at Denny’s at 11:00 at night. Now imagine one that is 300+ times bigger. It’d be the worst thing ever.
7. Bob Iger’s Personal Dirt Racing Track
Is Bob Iger even in to dirt racing? Probably not, so this one’s a no go.
8. A Price Reduction Center
Like Disney would want to actively reduce prices. They’re a business, they need to make money to buy all these new buses for the terrible ideas I just mentioned.
9. A Standard Sized McDonald’s in the Middle of the Property and Nothing Else
As much as we “enjoy” the good “food” at the Golden Arches, having just a standard sized one smack dab in the middle of 1,000 acres with nothing else is the actual definition of a waste of space.
10. A Graveyard for Old Attraction Pieces in Their Current Rusted and Decayed State
Nothing like a friendly reminder of the fragile nature of life of theme park attractions to bring on the fun.
So those are our ideas for what Disney is not planning on doing with 1,000 acres. Who honestly knows what it will be? I mean probably Bob Iger, along on if he likes dirt racing.